Entry 48: Being an Introvert

The other morning, I was in my room, waiting for my house guest to leave for work.

I know, it’s my house and I should be able to go out to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, but it was also 6am and my house guest can be extremely chatty, even in the wee hours of the morning.

I’ve wondered why she’s chatty. Is it because she thinks I want to chat? That because I don’t have much person to person contact on a daily basis, that I need to chat? I mean, I say ‘hi’ to the gym receptionist and interact with the Target cashier when she asks me how my day is, but at the end of the day, do I look like I’m friend deficient?

After the first few days of her stay, there was a decline in my ability to keep up in conversation.

Are you okay? I’m concerned because you’re not acting normal. 

The truth is, I’m an introvert, and while I can be extroverted for a short moment in time, I can’t make a marathon of it.  I found it funny that after a few days of knowing me, she thought that being chatty was normal for me.

Perhaps she wanted me to open up about my life, tell her my deepest secrets, and then become joy luck club sisters. I don’t know. The thing is, I’m pretty selective about who I really open to, and even then, I don’t do it quite often.  It’s a trust thing… so if you’ve seen me ugly cry. Congratulations. You’re a part of my selective ugly cry squad.

Every girl needs one,  a group of girls – with maybe a gay guy mixed in there – who doesn’t judge you, will drink wine with you, eat mochi cake, and candy while your waterproof mascara runs down you face. In light of Thanksgiving,  my go-to gals are the best and I’m forever thankful for them.

I know, it just got emotional there, but you know what – finding amazing friends is a beautiful thing

Anyways, it’s almost Thanksgiving. Husbands mom and stepdad are coming into town soon. I’m been trying pretty hard to clean up the house, but can’t clean the spares til house guest leaves in a couple of days. Husband’s mom likes to clean while she visits, but my goal is to have her visit us and having nothing to clean

As for things I like :

Gigi Hadid Mabelline lip.  They upped the price for her Mabelline line (because of her name) and it made me hesitant about getting anything from her in the first place.  You can get somewhat of the same thing for less but I did get her lipstick. It’s surprisingly smooth, and moisturizing if you want to spend the extra $3-4

Starbucks – Holiday Drinks!  It’s still hot in the desert (highs in the 80s), but gets cold enough in the morning to get a warm drink. My favorite part of the holidays is the peppermint drinks at Starbucks.

Christmas Display – I’ve been really good about not getting excited about Christmas too early, but ever since Michael’s and Target put up their displays in their stores, I’ve gone out of my way to peruse the aisles and just be…  with my Peppermint Coffee from Starbucks. I can’t wait to decorate after Thanksgiving.

Quay Sunglasses. While a lot of the country is battling high winds and rain and storms, I’m on the market for new sunglasses.

Anyways, that’s it for know. I hope every one has a great rest of your week. 🙂 Until next time.

 

 

 

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Entry 48: Being an Introvert

Entry 47 : Halloween!!!

I’ve never been a big Halloween fan. I like passing out candy and seeing what cute outfits kids dress in (And what clever and slutty things adults dress up  in) . Yea, I probably wore some slutty outfit at some party during some point in my early 20’s,  but in general I was the girl who preferred to wear the “This is my Halloween shirt” to Halloween parties, or cat ears, because that was easy.

I know what you’re thinking, Where’s your sense of excitement and fun? To which , I don’t really have a good response to give you. I admit that I’m pretty lame – I read for fun, but I’m totally okay with that. So if you have a problem with that, well – whatever.

I do like dressing up my dog.

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Gage, circa 2008

I don’t think he enjoyed it very much.

One thing that I heard on a podcast and read articles on after hearing this podcast is that some moms are trying to be sensitive as to what their kids dress up for Halloween, for fear that it might be seen as cultural appropriation.   

I didn’t even know this was a thing. Granted, I don’t have any kids, but I have friends that do and often think on the decisions I would make if I had any.  Personally, I wouldn’t be offended if a white kid wanted to dress up like Mulan or an Eggroll for Halloween, and would be okay with my kid dressing up like Elsa, but apparently there are others who think otherwise and are like, white kids need to back off Moana.

The way I see it, everyone’s culturally appropriating everyone. There are fashionable ponchos sold at Nordstrom. I almost bought one. Are native Americans offended by ponchos sold in Nordies? If so, Nordies better take that off the shelves.

The solution if you don’t want to offend anyone?  Dress your kid up like a rubix cube, a lego block, or Nemo. Those are pretty neutral and would be equally cute.

But yea, it’s Halloween is next week, which means, it’s almost Thanksgiving, which means… it’s almost Christmas.

How I feel about Christmas.

It really doesn’t seem like Fall in the desert since it’s still in the upper 80s , but I’m reminded that it is because of the pictures of yellow leaves and rain that everyone else is posting on social media. So thank you for that.

Random things that I like this week

“Havana” – Camila Cabello : This song has literally been on repeat the past few days.

Revlon Colorstay Foundation – I’m on a foundation kick and decided to try this out. This youtuber listed it as one of the best drugstore branded foundation… and omg, it hid my freckles with one layer and left a nice matte finish.

Zuchinnis

Walking Dead – The season premiere was this past week. Given the choice between Sunday night football and Walking Dead, we chose walking Dead, especially since the game was pretty boring by halftime.

This is Us – I know I’m one season late to the game, but omg! how is it possible to cry so much in one episode?

Until Next time….

Entry 47 : Halloween!!!

Entry 46: Being Able to Go Streaking in Your Own House

We have had a house guest for a few days now, and while walking and streaking naked around my house was never something I really did prior to having a house-guest, there’s something about not being able to do it that makes it randomly cross your mind.

There probably is a psychological term for this: wanting something that you can’t have or can’t do. You hear a lot about this with people and relationships, where a girl has a crush on a guy who has no idea she exists, but when the guy eventually has a crush on said girl, the girl has moved on. Story of my early teens, but that’s another story for another day.

Don’t get me wrong, our house guest is really nice, she’s tries to buy us groceries, and we’ve had some pretty deep conversations. Like how ancient Egyptians built the pyramids. Could aliens have helped? If not, then how were they able to build it with such precision? It sounds like one of those conversations one might have if on the weed, but I swear to you and your mother that we were not.

I did however have a few drinks of Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey Whiskey during this conversation. If you have not tried it and like to classily ( or non classily) sip on whiskey, it goes down super smooth and is amazing, causing you to question if it’s even alcohol. I must, however, bear warning to the fact that therein lies it’s danger –  after a few drinks you may find yourself  in a blanket burrito on the floor while watching netflix, then in the REM stage of sleep shortly thereafter. Countless times have I woken up at 4 am wondering how I just knocked out of nowhere, and looking up to see the tv lingering on the netflix screen asking me if I wanted to continue watching my show that has already played 5 episodes more than I remembered.

But digress.

Having a house guest….

As is often the case when one has a guest in a house (staying or visiting) a certain level of propriety is expected. One cannot liberally walk around without a bra or pants, or leave the bathroom door open while taking a poop. Adjusting a wedgie that’s riding up your butt will cause you to be weirdly looked upon, or – if you’re a male – putting your hands down your pants to adjust your dick will inevitably result in a look of disgust.

If you’re completely comfortable doing all those things while having a house guest…. good for you. I for one, am not. And so for this past week, I have suppressed such normal tendencies that would be deemed even the slightest bit improper.

So when house-guest went to work last week, and husband was home sick for the day (and I was home because… well, because I’m a lulu…)  after a shower I thought…hmmm… streaking…why not?  I jumped out of the shower, towel dried myself so I wasn’t dripping wet, went into the living room, and ran a few circles around the couch… naked. Meanwhile, husband laid on the couch, a tissue box on the side table, face all tiredly congested and a look of what are you doing? Undoubtedly, the security cameras caught it all on tape. And you know what? It was great.

I’m not saying that every time I have guests over, there will be this constant thought of  walking around naked while we’re conversing about whatever. That would be rude. But… I wouldn’t rule out the fact that it may happen at some point when there’s no one home.

Anyways, I hope everyone has a great rest of your week. It’s starting to get cooler in the desert. This morning I woke up and took the trash out in 65 degree weather, and I was cold. It’s supposed to be 87 today. In a few months, you people who have inevitable bitter cold, grey weather will probably hate me.

Until next time…

 

Entry 46: Being Able to Go Streaking in Your Own House

Entry 45: Living in a Depressing World

When I woke up Monday morning, my heart wrenched as I saw the news about the Las Vegas shooting . A lot of us have – at some point – been to Vegas, walked the same streets (probably a little drunk or with a drink at hand. Shoot, I know I was)  been to the Mandalay Bay, and are now having those of thoughts of holy shit – I could have been there. I could have experienced that. 

Thankfully, we are safe. Me writing this little blurb, and you reading this or other articles, and watching the news with your hand over your heart while hugging your little ones, (or in my case my dogs ). All the while trying to process, What the fuck is wrong with this world. 

The thought comes up every time some sort of tragedy strikes. We become sad and upset and find ourselves wondering why these sort of things happen in life . The sad truth of it all is, it seems as if it has been happening more and more often.  One after the other, after the other,  leaving us with the inability to just focus on one thing. Or even have a breather.

It was earlier this year that there was that attack in Manchester during the Ariana Grande concert, and I remember feeling the same way as I do now. Yet with all the crap happening – the other attacks in London,  Black Lives Matter movements,  Antifa protests, natural disasters, the NFL, and now this – Manchester seems like a long time ago.

I will say that there are a few things that annoy me when these types of events happen

  1. stupid people rationalizing that it’s God’s way of getting rid of certain people, or hoping that it did:  in the case of Harvey, Irma, and the mass shooting – the “Trumptards”. I’m sorry, that’s a horrible thought.
  2. Politicians who immediately see these events as a way of furthering their agenda within hours of the event. I agree gun control is a thing that needs to be addressed, but can you give it at least 48 hours so we can process, and pray, and make sure all the victims and injured people are okay?

It’s depressing that this is the world we live in, and even more depressing to think of our future growing up in a world that is seemingly getting worse. But I think it’s important to remember that while these evils do exists, there is still good in the world. You don’t have to look very hard or very far to find it. It is times like these where good has the opportunity to shine,  where political and religious walls can be brought down to unite one human being to another, and where we as indiviudals can be reminded to fight the evils that do exist by being the best human beings we can be and instilling the same values upon our children to do the same.

That probably sounded cheesy or preachy.. or whatever, but I don’t know… this is kind of a big thing that just happened.  Hopefully I have something light-hearted to talk about next time… like how Husband is sick .. which is not light-hearted, but the fact that I’m suggesting Filipino remedies is. Stinky Asian Filipino oil (Husband – No). Let me put Vicks up your nose (no) . Let me put Vicks on your Feet (no) .

Anyways, until next time…

 

 

 

 

Entry 45: Living in a Depressing World

Entry 44: Sit, Stand, Kneel, Don’t Show Up – You Can’t Win

This flag/anthem controversy is everywhere

What I’ve concluded after listening to political podcasts, reading articles, and watching the news is… you can’t win. If you sit, kneel, don’t show up –  to the right, you’re linked with Colin Kaepernick and you’re not honoring the flag. If you stand and disagree with the kneelers, sitters, and non-showers, to the left you’re somehow linked with Trump who represents racism and bigotry and everything against free speech.

I was watching this news blip on how the Cowboys tried to strategically stand with the NFL in their protest, while honoring the flag. They had meetings days before the game with everyone on the team to try to figure out how they could get their message out, without offending anyone. They ended up kneeling before the anthem even began and got boo’d, and then stood during the national anthem. It didn’t matter that they stood during the anthem,  taking a knee regardless of when the knee was taken, was associated that with Colin Kaep. and the NFL, and that didn’t sit well.

Another player from the Steelers, Alejandro Villanueva stood at the tunnel during the anthem while his team were in the lockerroom..  I heard some people, including people in his team, thought it was disrespectful he didn’t stay in the locker rooms with his team.  But if he hadn’t, people from the Right would wonder why he didn’t stand.

You can’t win. Someone, somewhere is bound to have a problem.

I brought up this point earlier in the week  about how it’s funny that people can have so much in common, get along so well, can laugh, watch ‘This is Us’ and cry about it together, go out and have a beer, but the moment when disagreeing politics or religion comes into play – they become enemies. People get so passionate about these two topics, that the commonalities that had once linked a fellow human being to another becomes forgotten.  Until disaster strikes, then humanity kicks in for a few moments… although even then people can be mean with their whole “God is taking away all the Trump supporters with the Hurricanes”.

I think it’s important to remember in the midst of this divide, that an individual’s convictions are products of their experiences and social-economic background that has defined their values and fears. But at the heart it, they are people just like everyone else : they pay bills, have to work a job, watch Game of Thrones and were all like What the Fuck when Hodor died, and experience emotions of love and anger just like every other human being.

That being said, I stood for the anthem when it came on at the bar I was at last Sunday.

I stood…not because I’m racist or don’t believe there’s issues that need to be addressed, or don’t believe in freedom of speech, or am product of white privilege (which someone can explain that to me if I am)  and I didn’t vote for Trump (really I think he should just his keep mouth shut and not tell private entities what to do and focus on not being such a horrible President), but I stood because of my values and conviction in what the flag represents. While I will respectively disagree with those who don’t stand, I come from a standpoint of understanding that even though we may have differing opinions, that doesn’t make anyone who disagrees with me a lesser person than me. I believe we’re all trying to push for a better future for the country and don’t think that there’s a person out there who is doing what they’re doing with the mentality that they want to bring America down – except for extreme terrorists. That’s another story.

Anyways, that is all for now. I probably stirred some pots, some people’s cursor  are probably hovering over the ‘defriend’ button, but not before they write a comment on how I am incorrect . They’ll type in the last sentence saying  something like “You’re horrible for standing and you don’t understand the struggle of the black community because of white privilege”.  then they’ll defriend me a half a second after they hit the send comment button. Or maybe they won’t comment at all and just de-friend me.

I really hope people don’t de-freind in real life me because I stood; I can be fun and personally think I’m awesome, but what can you do…it’s not the end of world…  you can’t win with people sometimes.

Entry 44: Sit, Stand, Kneel, Don’t Show Up – You Can’t Win

Entry 43: Becoming Older… and Apparently More Parent-y

Every Sunday for me and my family is Football Sunday. And when it’s not football season, it’s Walking Dead Sunday, and then Game of Thrones Sunday. And if neither of those shows are on, me and husband look at each and are like, none of the shows we like are on… what do you want to do? At which point, we filter through HBO, Prime, or Netflix, and if nothing on those services appeal to our interest, we watch Big Bang Theory.

Luckily, we have not faced that roadblock since it is football season. This past Sunday night football, we had a few friends over, and extended the invitation to a few friends of a friend.

At the end of the night, one of the extended friends, who is 23 years old, was like you guys don’t have any kids? (A : Uhm, I think you would’ve seen them if we did) ..oh… cuz you guys are like.. parent-y.

I don’t think he meant it in a negative way, or at least I certainly didn’t take it that way. The only reasons I can think of why he said it was maybe because a. we’re a whole decade older than him or b. we’re good hosts and fed him.

Whatever the reason, in my head – I was like, parent-y? when did that happen? Especially since I myself don’t think I have the maturity of a parent, let alone an adult. Maybe if I showed him my adult coloring book collection, or the hello kitty socks that I have in my drawer, he would think otherwise.

Or not.

Earlier that evening, a commercial came on for The Voice.

23 year old :  I don’t even know who the black chick is.

Me: That’s Jennifer Hudson… she was on American Idle

::Blank stare::

I have accepted that this will happen more and more the older that I get: having to explain pop culture and events of yesteryear that will be met with blank stares. I am anticipating that the day when I have to explain who NSync and the BackStreet Boys are will come fairly soon. It will be a day that will hurt my heart, but one which I will gladly take the time to explain the cultural phenom that was.

It makes me think about how my teachers in high school tried to explain world events that they lived through – like the Berlin Wall coming down. Or how my mom’s face would light up whenever she saw Donny Osmond on tv , and how I myself met them with stares of yea, I know you’ve lived through this, and I can see you feel a certain way, but I can’t exactly share your emotion. 

Ehh, it is what it is. It’s all a part of getting older… and becoming parent-y .. I suppose.

Until next time…

 

Entry 43: Becoming Older… and Apparently More Parent-y

Entry 42: Rice is Rice

I was at the local grocery store buying the weeks groceries. As I was checking out, the cashier commented on the bag of rice I was purchasing.

“Is that brand good?” she asked

I gave her a look of confusion

“Is that what Asians eat?”

“I don’t know,” I responded. “It’s fine?”

I found it funny that she thought that in some way I was qualified to speak on behalf of all Asians, or that all Asians are alike. I mean, I am Asian, I look Asian, but if one is also basing their definition of “Asian” on existing stereotypes, I don’t think I meet all the check boxes:  I’m not good at math, I’m not a child musical prodigy, and if you ask me cultural questions or what Asians do to celebrate what.. I wouldn’t know how to explain a lot it.

But in regards to this rice-buying, I think if I was more Asian, I would’ve gone out of my way to travel 40 minutes to the only Asian market in town comparable to the ones back in Seattle, to grab a bag of rice. That’s what my dad would’ve have done. He’s one of those who’s hardcore about where and what brand of rice he buys.  If he saw me buying a bag from a grocery store whose “Asian section” consists of a few shelves filled fortune cookies, Top Ramen, and soy sauce, he would probably look at me with shame, wondering what he did wrong.

And then he would probably make me put it back and drive that 40 minutes to get proper rice.

But alas, He’s not here and I was lazy, and ultimately I was okay with buying rice from the regular grocery store. This did, however, make me think how there’s so much of a cultural gap between me and my dad. As much as he tried to raise me and my brother “In the Asian/Filipino way” ,  a lot of the culture and traditions he had grown up with ultimately became lost in us as we became infused with becoming “Americanized”  Not all of it, but enough.  As friends start having kids, it makes me think about how much of the “culture” that was passed on from our parents that we ended up keeping, will be valued and kept by our children?

I don’t know if I’m making sense, but I guess what I’m trying say is – what if my kid not only doesn’t care about where or what brand of rice to buy, but doesn’t like rice at all and is like, gross mom – I’m going to eat this quinoa bowl instead.  or what if they don’t Filipino food in general? I have a cousin who’s half Filipino and he doesn’t like Filipino food, and all I can think of is – how did that happen? And…What if they don’t like to Karaoke?!?!  That would mean that there would be days where I would be the only one in my house, munching on Filipino food, with a karaoke mike in my hand, the other mike sitting on the stand… waiting to have someone pick it up so they could duet with me.

Ehh… I know it’s not the it’s the end of the world if my kids end up different from me.  The more important thing is that they’re healthy, happy, and not a dick. But with regards to passing on culture, I guess the only thing you can really do is try to infuse them with the values and traditions you find important, and hope that they grow to value it as well.

Some other random thoughts I have :

  1. Remember that website AsianAvenue?
  2. In Seattle, remember when you’d go out on Friday/Saturday and there’d be people taking your picture so you’d end up on that Sea-Spot website or whatever? Is that still a thing?

Anyways…Until next time.

 

Entry 42: Rice is Rice