They punched a hole in my Washington state license.
With that, I feel like the Arizona Motor Vehicle Department, punched a hole in the corner of my heart.
So dramatic, right? But with the holidays here and me and Austin kind of riding solo in Tucson, little things are starting to make the fact that we’ve moved more real. I mean, it’s been real; we’ve been here for almost a month, but it’s like I’ve been trying to hold on to every connection I can with my WA home.
Seriously, when my license changed, all these vulnerabilities that had been dormant these past few months started to emerge.
Like the fact that we’re pretty much riding solo in the desert. In Washington, we had amazing friends and family, and this great sense community that we’d nurtured and been a part of for years. I have no doubt we will get that sense of belonging here eventually, but we haven’t quite gotten there yet.
It also makes me sad that I won’t be a part of my friends’ everyday lives; like I see facebook status updates and I’m just like I wish I was there to eat that pie with you! or I wish I was there to help you finish that bottle of wino, but I’m not so I’ll guess I’ll just open this bottle here and it’ll kind of be like I’m drinking with you.
I suppose that’s life though; nothing ever stays the same. It is ever- changing and with that change, people go on and live their lives.
One of my fears that I’ve realized these past couple of weeks is losing touch with friends; I moved states once before in 6th grade, then moved schools in high school, and then went to college, and it was so easy to lose touch with the friends that you thought were going to be your sidekicks for life. Of course now, it’s so much easier to stay connected, but it’s still easy to veer away. I’ve realized that if I want to keep my relationships, I have to try. It’s so much easier to let it go, but I’ve learned that all the important things take effort to keep alive. And – I’m going to get even more sentimental than I already am – all my Seattle friends were the best. Just saying.
At the same time, I won’t let this hinder me from meeting new people, I undoubtedly will meet more awesome people that will be the best, I will just make sure I won’t forget the old.
I know, so many feelings all from getting a hole punched in my license, but that’s how my brain / emotions work; it starts off some place random, and that random thing just opens up this cornicorpia of emotions that may or may not be related.
This flow of emotions was bound to happen; but I think that because I had been so busy, my feelings had not had time to process, and now that I have more time – it’s coming down like a heavily gushing waterfall. I just need to stop chasing the waterfall, like how the great 90’s R&B group TLC suggested in their one song “Waterfalls”.
Which brings me to a tangent that makes me want to dissect the song now that it has popped in my head. I mean, if you only stick to the “rivers and lakes that you’re used to”, you never really get anywhere in life, right? so maybe it’s better to chase waterfalls? Or maybe they were talking about it in the perspective of being greedy and not appreciating what you have.
I don’t know where I was going with that, but perhaps I’ll just leave it with that. What the hell was TLC talking about ?
Yet another tangent from getting my license hole-punched.
Until next time…