Entry 13: The nonjealous wifey

I always think it’s funny when girls are like Girl, you better check yo’ man, some female is trynna get all up in that. 

(Sidenote, as I wrote that, I did a little headbobbing. You know, the kind of head-bob that you see girls do when they’re on Jerry Springer and they’re like oh heelllll no ! after they receive some kind of bad news. Like the fact their man has an illegitimate child – who is also illiterate. And then I reread it again, and did more head-bobbing while holding out a finger, this time an active one. It’s a shame no one was around to witness it. But really, you can’t read it without doing at the very least, a mental head-bob/and or finger… and if you didn’t do it before, reread and see if you do it)

The thing is, I’ve never been the jealous girl who will walk across a room to link arms with my significant other whenever I see him talking to another girl in order to put my claim on him. Nor am I the girl who will claw her face out if she doesn’t back off (bitch you better recognize!). I am the girl who is like… wait someone is hitting on my Husband? Is she cute? and then I start giggling and watching it all happen like a social anthropological observation.

Truth is, you can’t control what other girls do or say, and you can’t control what your significant other will do and say or what’s going on in their brains, but there’s this thing called respect and trust and if you really think that your significant other would actually  do something, well… maybe the deeper meaning as to why you think that would occur should be addressed.

I’m no relationship expert; I have a hard enough time getting what I’m feeling out there unless it’s a feeling ..I’m hungry… And you might ask, hungry for what? Well, that is where we come across a another issue. Am I hungry because my body is in need of nutrients? or am I hungry because I just want to stuff my face with something. Either way, the next question becomes the what? I mean, I always want to eat cookies and brownies and drink starbucks everyday, but the calories??!? What about the calories?!?!

It’s exasperating, I know.

But I digress.

As I was saying, I’m no relationship expert, but the way I see it, it’s just props to me for picking such a dashingly attractive human being.

Anyways, I will end this entry with the following conversation I had with the same hot girls who called me pretty.

Girl : Omg, it is so refreshing to find a female who doesn’t get jealous. 

Me: Really? 

Girl 2: Omg, yea…. there are so many jealous bitches out there. I love you. 

Me : I think I like you too…. Imma get you a drink. … Husband! Get these girls a drink!

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Entry 13: The nonjealous wifey

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