I turned 32 a few week ago. It’s weird to say that. Thirty-Two. But that is how old I am.
The student workers at work guessed I was 23, then 25, then 27 and for a brief moment I thought about lying and saying something like yes, I am 27, but in the end told them inescapable truth.
Wow, they responded.
Whether or not it was a wow of wow you’re old or a wow of wow you look amazing, I couldn’t quite tell. But then again, that is a summation of my current level of coolness: I can’t read young people anymore. It makes me feel really old to say “young people” and to not be able to group myself as “young” anymore, but I can’t read them, I can’t relate to them, I can’t even understand what they’re saying when they’re saying stuff like ratchet, or turnt, or Netflix and Chill. Well, now I do because I just found out that it was it’s another term booty call, but seriously….since when did slang become so coded? It’s not even like current slang means the opposite of the word anymore; it doesn’t even come close to the literal or opposite of the literal meaning of the term.
But I’ve quit trying to understand it all. At a certain age you just have to, because if you try to understand and keep up with it all, it just becomes rediculous.
It’s kind of like when newly divorced middle aged men start wearing Affliction shirts because they think that’s what will get them all the vagina, young and gross. (Gross). This is the true story of an ex CFO of mine:he got divorced and started wearing seven jeans and affliction shirts and would invite all the cute office girls to go to the casino with him after a couple of drinks at a work Happy Hour. It was really awkward.
There probably are a few of you who are like….Winter, you’re 32, that’s not old. and I agree, it’s not. However, the age of being young and careless and wearing slutty clothes to clubs and going out til 4am, for me, has long long passed. I’m a homebody at heart anyway and the older I get the more I realize I prefer to netflix and chill – in the literal sense. Actually in my house, its more like netflix and knock out on the couch, and then wake up with a cramped neck at 4 am, but like I said, Im totally okay with that.