I’m not going to lie. This past week has been rough. Every day, I’ve been going to the hospital to see my dad who is still in a hospital bed even as I leave to go home. One thing has happened after another, complications have been coming up, keping him there longer than I thought he would be.
Why can’t old people just go like in The Notebook? Just live to like 100 + years old, and fall asleep when the time comes. I know, I realize that I’ve just ruined the ending for those of you who haven’t seen it, but it’s a movie you should’ve already seen a million moons ago. I’m not going to apologize
But life isn’t like a movie; it’s rough and full of challenges, and not everyone has a Ryan Gosling in every scene of their life.
Hospitals aren’t like Grey’s Anatomy, either. Dr. McSteamys or McDreamys are not running all over the place saving lives. At least, I haven’t seen any at the hospital my dad is at. Not that that matters in this situation, and it really shouldnt surprise me. Im just saying.
Real life can suck, and dealing with aging parents and their health problems definitely forces you to experience life in such a way that can make you thoughtful about things, reset your priorities, and change perspectives on life.
If you have held the perspective that Ive been taking this with stride, I would say that is partly true, but it is also partly due to my ability to put up a front. There are times when I feel like I have found acceptance with the situation, but then not even 5 minutes later, am not sure how to deal.
I had one of those moments when I was sitting by the ledge of my dad’s hospital room one night,looking at a window that saw darkness and I started to cry.
I was drained and upset, and ultimately feeling alone. Like I was in this big ditch I didnt know how to get out of.
It was at that moment that some nurses walked in to check up on my dad.
Nurse: Oh no. are you okay? do you need anything ? tissue? chapstick?
Me : maybe some tissue since my makeup might be smeared
I suddenly became self-conscious over the fact that I might have chappy lips.
Do I look like I need chapstick?
I didn’t need chapstick, a nurse had explained. It was just something they had a stash of and were offering me in comfort. But still, even after they left, a part of me was concerned over having chapped lips.
I found myself searching for one of my 3 chapsticks that I had at hand, and by the time I found one of them and satisfactorily hydrated my lips, my need to wallow in the previous feels had subsided
Maybe it was coincidence, maybe it was fate, but the nurses coming in when they did reminded me of the fact that we’re never really alone. Even though it might feel like we are, we are all linked somehow, we just got to let ourselves to be vulnerable in order to be helped, and also help when we see people who might need it.
A lot of emo thoughts going on there. On some more positive note, some things I like:
Pho – This past week I’ve had pho 3 times. Seattle has perfect pho weather. There is one good pho spot in the desert, but it’s so warm in the desert, you give off so much heat after leaving the restaurant from the carbs and the heat, that it’s not as enjoyable.
Godless – I’m only on episode 3, but it’s great. I’m glad Hollywood is making a few westerns.
The Magicians Season 2 – It’s like Harry Potter goes to college. I’ve killed through Season 2 on netflix this past week that I’ve been here. It’s not the best show, but a good show to help you pass the time in between the shows that you’re waiting for.
Top Pot Doughnuts I’m also not a doughnut person, but I had one bite of this doughnut, and my eyes literally rolled back.
Anyways ways, I hope everyone has a good rest of the week . I will be heading home to the desert, but am hoping to make it back within the next month or two.
Until next time.