There’s this episode of How I Met Your Mother where the character Robin notices that she, in a sense, has become invisible after getting engaged to Barney. In putting on her engagement ring, she is no longer able to get free coffee or bagels, no one allows her to cut in line, the bartender no longer sees her when she tries to order beer, and she basically become like Frodo Baggins in Lord of the Rings
It was a funny episode, like many of the episodes of the show, but I never dwelt on whether there was any truth to it all until a few weeks ago, when I went to the grocery store without my ring.
Husband and I had dropped our ring off the day before at a Shane Co that was 2 hours away, and were anticipating on being ring-less for a week, but I walked into that grocery store, and let me tell you… it was as if the Red Sea had parted. I suddenly noticed smiles coming my way, guys were moving to the side so I could push my wagon through the aisle, I was asked multiple times if I needed help finding things (after the 4th time I was just like.. Bacon! I need bacon!)
Maybe the grocery store workers were giving exceptional customer service that day, maybe people always smile but I never notice because I tend to avoid eye contact, maybe I don’t notice people move to the side so I could go through aisles because I usually go grocery shopping on weekdays at 9 am when the retired people do their shopping.
Maybe it was all a coincidence, but how would you explain a random guy asking me if I had come to the grocery store alone while I was looking for tomatoes in the produce section?
Not going to lie, I thought it was a creepily weird thing to ask… something that psycho abductors say before they lure you in with brownies or chocolate chip cookies. Why wouldn’t I go to a grocery store alone? I’m an adult woman in my 30’s, and even if I didn’t look like I was 30, surely I looked older than 18. Surely… Maybe.
“Yea?”I responded, confused.
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
Ahhhhhh! The light bulb came on. It made sense. I was being chatted up, which caught me off guard considering I don’t think I’ve been properly chatted up before, or if I have, it’s been a while. Was this how random single people chatted up other seemingly random single people in today’s dating world? I thought most people did apps like Tinder, or Grinder…
“No boyfriend, but I do have a husband.”
The rejected suitor gave me a look of shock; he had crossed a line he had never intended on crossing by hitting on a married woman.
Oh my Gosh!” he exclaimed, and apologetically stepped back, his hand covered his mouth in embarrassment, then touched his chest as if in a heartfelt apology.
“ I didn’t see a ring,” he tried to explain. “I didn’t know you were married.
“My ring’s at the cleaners,” I explained. “It’s okay.
I pushed my cart towards the bacon aisle, processing the fact that I just got hollered at.
I got my ring back a week later, and looking at it in its clean, shiny, pristine state, I can see how it acts a ward for other guys to Fuck off. Apparently, its been doing that for 9 years.
Anyways I hope everyone has good rest of their week. Husband is in Boston this week so I’m riding solo, but keeping busy with doing a load of crafty projects and cleaning the house.
Things I like this Week:
How To Be A Latin Lover – This movie is now on prime, but I had been wanting to watch this for a while. It looks cheezy in the trailer, and it is…but it’s also heartwarmingly funny.
Instant Pot! – It was my birthday this past weekend and husband got me an instant pot! I’ve only been wanting one for 2 years, putting it on my Christmas and Birthday wish list. So excited to make instant pot dishes.
Jergens Natural Glow – It’s getting really hot in the desert, and I have this really ugly short’s tan line from doing outdoor stuff. It’s like my legs are nicely tan, then there’s a white ass. There’s no transition, it just goes abruptly from tan legs to white ass. I’d put a picture up but I don’t know if that would be appropriate. You’d probably like.. daannng! Anyways, I bought this to try to ombre it out. I don’t know if it’s works yet, but it smells nice.
That’s all I have for now. Until next time…