Entry 51: Hello, Seattle.

There’s something about walking on a sidewalk with your rolling luggage, and a lady throwing a bunch of breadcrumbs  in front of you, so that a flock of pigeons fly in the pathway that you plan on walking through ( aghhh… fucking pigeons!) that says – welcome to Seattle.

For a second I thought about going on the street and walking around the birds, but ended up being like…you know what? these are pigeons, and I am a human being and thus on top of nature’s food chain. I am going to walk through this horde of pigeons and if any one of them gets hurt…well… survival of the fittest. Maybe theyre not cut out for this world.

Seattle isnt as cold as I thought it would be. I was afraid that my thin desert adapted blood would go in crisis mode and wouldn’t know what to do, but thus far, I’m surviving. Plus, this colder weather makes it seem a little more like the holidays to me. Everywhere I look, people are coated in their marmot jackets and wrapped in infinity scarves, cupping their coffee like a lifeline. So many marmot jackets.

Yesterday, I rode in a friend’s Tesla. It was a car-ride full of so many questions. Is it okay that I bring my bubble tea in here? Is there wi-fi in this car? Can you google  search stuff? Have you self-parked it before? Is that the speed gauge?  It looks like heart monitor. So the car is going to turn off when you walk away?  I know some people are like yea, whatever- it’s just a Tesla. Be cool, Winter. Be coo.  I probably sounded like an ignorant small-townie… which I am when it comes to that sort of stuff, but having never been in anything so techy, and being tech challenged, I was impressed. It felt like I had so much responsibility just by being in the car, like I shouldn’t adjust my weight to one side lest the windows might roll down.

Anyways, I finally saw my dad yesterday. He had a feeding tube down his nose and at first kind of just looked at me. I asked him a bunch of questions – hows it going dad. (nod) you doing okay (nod). Is that thing up your nose okay (nod) you want to look at pictures (nod) 

It was a cycle of me asking him questions and him nodding and being unexpressive. I don’t know if he was just nodding because that’s all he could do, but I ended up playing him some music, some old Filipino songs that he would karaoke to when I was kid.  As I sat on the floor next to his bed (there was a plug at his bed, and my phone was at 2% and needed charging) his hand began tapping to the music and then tapped my head, then touch my face. It was a touch that lingered for a while.

I had wondered what would be the moment when I would start crying, and for sure thought that it would be when I walked into his room and saw him lying in his hospital bed. But, it was this moment when the music that I didn’t understand the lyrics to was playing and his hand lingered on my face ( like I was the one needing comforting in this situation) that  flooded me with memories of me being a kid again, tearing down whatever wall I was trying to keep up.

I know, so emotional. Aghh. I’m trying no to look sad at the coffee shop that I’m at and trying to remind myself not to make a scene since I’m in public. I kind of made eye contact with a guy with a black eye. I was just staring into space and somehow, fate locked our eyes and I was like.. oh shit, look away. don’t stare.

Things that I like:

The Punisher. Probably the best of netflix marvel series that they have out there. Seriously, Shane (I don’t know his real name so I call him Shane from Walking Dead) does such a good job in that role.

Seattle City Christmas Lights : Like I said, it feels a lot like the holidays here because of the weather, but also – they light the city up with Christmas lights a little more

Urban Decay Ultimate Basics  I have so many eye shadow pallets, but I recently got this, and it’s such a versatile basic pallet. If that makes sense.  Right now, my new go-to.

Fenty Beauty Foundation – I was trying out makeup at Sephora the other day. I’m usually pretty careful when it comes to make-up, especially when celebrities are attached to it.  But omg. This product goes on light, but when sets into your skin has completely full coverage. I even put a darker shade on my had first, then tried a lighter shade and that completely covered the darker shade. The line comes in a wide spectrum of shades.  Highly recommend.

Anyways, that’s all I can think of right now.  Until next time…

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Entry 51: Hello, Seattle.

Entry 50: The Good and the Bad

A few things have happened this past week:

1. Two of my besties delivered two little handsome baby boys.
2. My dad had a stroke.

I know, that just went from – wow, that’s awesome to …omg. Are you okay? Is your dad okay?  It’s like I just gave you a lollipop and then slapped it out of your hand and ran away with it.

It’s crazy how one moment, life can be filled with the joy of new babies coming into the world, and then the next moment you are reminded that right alongside with that joy, there is the very opposite of that.

That is life, I suppose: it is roundabout never ending cycle of the good times and bad, of happiness and sadness. While I often find myself trying to only latch on to all the joyful things in life ( and trying really hard at avoiding even the thought of confronting anything negative) the negative is unavoidable. This much I have learned.

I have avoided thinking about my parents getting old for a long time just because – no one likes to think about this type of stuff. (shoot, one time husband mentioned how our dogs will no longer be with us, and I started crying at the bar we are at). But now, it has punched me in the mouth and I am forced to face the realities of it all.

Anyways, my dad is doing okay. As of right now, he’s in the hospital getting evaluated so they can have a rehabilitation plan when they dispatch him. As for me, I’m alright. Trying to keep calm so I can be logical and not make emotional decisions.  I’m also trying to keep busy so I don’t dwell, but then find myself doing things like decorating my tree and I get sad because.. well, my parents were supposed to come for Christmas and now my dad won’t get to see my Christmas decor 😦

Ahhh, so sad. I feel like I should end this on some positive things….

A Seattle trip is on the way within the next month or so, although it’s for unfortunate reasons.   But Seattle – I will see you and your rain and traffic- sometime soon.

I really like Jack Daniels Winter Jack… because it has my name in it and tastes like apple juice.

Husband has been really great in the midst of me being really sad, offering really good advice with what to do with my dad, and giving me really comforting hugs, ones that make you want to sink in and hide, even for just a little bit.  What a guy.

Until next time….everyone have a good rest of the week.

Entry 50: The Good and the Bad

Entry 49 : People Just need to Chill

The other day, I was at Costco, waiting for the light to turn green so I could leave the parking lot. I left enough space between myself and the car in front of me so I wasn’t blocking people from turning into this particular parking aisle that I was by. This car, drives by me (and the 10 other cars behind me) in the right turn only lane, and then cuts in front of me in my own lane.

People are bitches. I mean, there’s bitches all throughout the year, but it seems like right when Thanksgiving is around the corner, they come out in full force and don’t go away until the New Year begins. They’re fighting for parking spots, fighting for apple pies at Costco, arguing about returns, cutting in front of me when I’m trying to be a decent human being and leave space so I’m not blocking a parking aisle.

People need to chill. You’ll get your damn apple pie at some point, and if someone took the last one at Costco, I think you will survive. And I don’t know, maybe the universe is telling you didn’t need that pie, that you should maybe walk off that anxiety and burn off those calories that you would have gotten if you got that apple pie. Just an idea. You’ll probably feel better afterwards.

And that toy that you’re fighting through the lines for and getting angry at everyone else for getting it before you, does this child you’re buying it for really need that toy?  really? I mean, Jesus got gold, frankincense, and myrrh (I had to look up how to spell the last two) You don’t hear any stories about him complaining about why he didn’t get whatever cool toy Jewish kids played with back in the day.

I’m not saying that everyone is horrible during the holidays, there are just those who sometimes forget the whole meaning of Christmas and become dicks to everyone else.  It’s the holidays. Instead of getting your panties all crinkled up in a bunch and stuck up your butt crack over trivial things,  enjoy your family, enjoy the spirit of Christmas, and don’t be a dick by cutting in front of me.. . Also, use your blinker… and put your shopping cart back in designated places instead of leaving them everywhere on the parking lot for the wind to blow into another car.

::End rant::

On a more positive note, I spent a few minutes of my day reading up how Meghan Markle and Prince Harry got engaged. Thank you Meghan Markle for ruining one of the few chances left out there for single women (or married if they want to be shady) to become a princesses.

I’ve also started to put up Christmas decor in my house and playing Christmas music. Husband would always stop me when I used to talk about Christmas in August. This past year, I locked up that excitement til Thanksgiving was over… well, okay, maybe a little before then, but still… I waited for a long time, and now it’s coming in full force.

Until next time….

Entry 49 : People Just need to Chill

Entry 48: Being an Introvert

The other morning, I was in my room, waiting for my house guest to leave for work.

I know, it’s my house and I should be able to go out to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, but it was also 6am and my house guest can be extremely chatty, even in the wee hours of the morning.

I’ve wondered why she’s chatty. Is it because she thinks I want to chat? That because I don’t have much person to person contact on a daily basis, that I need to chat? I mean, I say ‘hi’ to the gym receptionist and interact with the Target cashier when she asks me how my day is, but at the end of the day, do I look like I’m friend deficient?

After the first few days of her stay, there was a decline in my ability to keep up in conversation.

Are you okay? I’m concerned because you’re not acting normal. 

The truth is, I’m an introvert, and while I can be extroverted for a short moment in time, I can’t make a marathon of it.  I found it funny that after a few days of knowing me, she thought that being chatty was normal for me.

Perhaps she wanted me to open up about my life, tell her my deepest secrets, and then become joy luck club sisters. I don’t know. The thing is, I’m pretty selective about who I really open to, and even then, I don’t do it quite often.  It’s a trust thing… so if you’ve seen me ugly cry. Congratulations. You’re a part of my selective ugly cry squad.

Every girl needs one,  a group of girls – with maybe a gay guy mixed in there – who doesn’t judge you, will drink wine with you, eat mochi cake, and candy while your waterproof mascara runs down you face. In light of Thanksgiving,  my go-to gals are the best and I’m forever thankful for them.

I know, it just got emotional there, but you know what – finding amazing friends is a beautiful thing

Anyways, it’s almost Thanksgiving. Husbands mom and stepdad are coming into town soon. I’m been trying pretty hard to clean up the house, but can’t clean the spares til house guest leaves in a couple of days. Husband’s mom likes to clean while she visits, but my goal is to have her visit us and having nothing to clean

As for things I like :

Gigi Hadid Mabelline lip.  They upped the price for her Mabelline line (because of her name) and it made me hesitant about getting anything from her in the first place.  You can get somewhat of the same thing for less but I did get her lipstick. It’s surprisingly smooth, and moisturizing if you want to spend the extra $3-4

Starbucks – Holiday Drinks!  It’s still hot in the desert (highs in the 80s), but gets cold enough in the morning to get a warm drink. My favorite part of the holidays is the peppermint drinks at Starbucks.

Christmas Display – I’ve been really good about not getting excited about Christmas too early, but ever since Michael’s and Target put up their displays in their stores, I’ve gone out of my way to peruse the aisles and just be…  with my Peppermint Coffee from Starbucks. I can’t wait to decorate after Thanksgiving.

Quay Sunglasses. While a lot of the country is battling high winds and rain and storms, I’m on the market for new sunglasses.

Anyways, that’s it for know. I hope every one has a great rest of your week. 🙂 Until next time.

 

 

 

Entry 48: Being an Introvert

Entry 47 : Halloween!!!

I’ve never been a big Halloween fan. I like passing out candy and seeing what cute outfits kids dress in (And what clever and slutty things adults dress up  in) . Yea, I probably wore some slutty outfit at some party during some point in my early 20’s,  but in general I was the girl who preferred to wear the “This is my Halloween shirt” to Halloween parties, or cat ears, because that was easy.

I know what you’re thinking, Where’s your sense of excitement and fun? To which , I don’t really have a good response to give you. I admit that I’m pretty lame – I read for fun, but I’m totally okay with that. So if you have a problem with that, well – whatever.

I do like dressing up my dog.

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Gage, circa 2008

I don’t think he enjoyed it very much.

One thing that I heard on a podcast and read articles on after hearing this podcast is that some moms are trying to be sensitive as to what their kids dress up for Halloween, for fear that it might be seen as cultural appropriation.   

I didn’t even know this was a thing. Granted, I don’t have any kids, but I have friends that do and often think on the decisions I would make if I had any.  Personally, I wouldn’t be offended if a white kid wanted to dress up like Mulan or an Eggroll for Halloween, and would be okay with my kid dressing up like Elsa, but apparently there are others who think otherwise and are like, white kids need to back off Moana.

The way I see it, everyone’s culturally appropriating everyone. There are fashionable ponchos sold at Nordstrom. I almost bought one. Are native Americans offended by ponchos sold in Nordies? If so, Nordies better take that off the shelves.

The solution if you don’t want to offend anyone?  Dress your kid up like a rubix cube, a lego block, or Nemo. Those are pretty neutral and would be equally cute.

But yea, it’s Halloween is next week, which means, it’s almost Thanksgiving, which means… it’s almost Christmas.

How I feel about Christmas.

It really doesn’t seem like Fall in the desert since it’s still in the upper 80s , but I’m reminded that it is because of the pictures of yellow leaves and rain that everyone else is posting on social media. So thank you for that.

Random things that I like this week

“Havana” – Camila Cabello : This song has literally been on repeat the past few days.

Revlon Colorstay Foundation – I’m on a foundation kick and decided to try this out. This youtuber listed it as one of the best drugstore branded foundation… and omg, it hid my freckles with one layer and left a nice matte finish.

Zuchinnis

Walking Dead – The season premiere was this past week. Given the choice between Sunday night football and Walking Dead, we chose walking Dead, especially since the game was pretty boring by halftime.

This is Us – I know I’m one season late to the game, but omg! how is it possible to cry so much in one episode?

Until Next time….

Entry 47 : Halloween!!!

Entry 46: Being Able to Go Streaking in Your Own House

We have had a house guest for a few days now, and while walking and streaking naked around my house was never something I really did prior to having a house-guest, there’s something about not being able to do it that makes it randomly cross your mind.

There probably is a psychological term for this: wanting something that you can’t have or can’t do. You hear a lot about this with people and relationships, where a girl has a crush on a guy who has no idea she exists, but when the guy eventually has a crush on said girl, the girl has moved on. Story of my early teens, but that’s another story for another day.

Don’t get me wrong, our house guest is really nice, she’s tries to buy us groceries, and we’ve had some pretty deep conversations. Like how ancient Egyptians built the pyramids. Could aliens have helped? If not, then how were they able to build it with such precision? It sounds like one of those conversations one might have if on the weed, but I swear to you and your mother that we were not.

I did however have a few drinks of Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey Whiskey during this conversation. If you have not tried it and like to classily ( or non classily) sip on whiskey, it goes down super smooth and is amazing, causing you to question if it’s even alcohol. I must, however, bear warning to the fact that therein lies it’s danger –  after a few drinks you may find yourself  in a blanket burrito on the floor while watching netflix, then in the REM stage of sleep shortly thereafter. Countless times have I woken up at 4 am wondering how I just knocked out of nowhere, and looking up to see the tv lingering on the netflix screen asking me if I wanted to continue watching my show that has already played 5 episodes more than I remembered.

But digress.

Having a house guest….

As is often the case when one has a guest in a house (staying or visiting) a certain level of propriety is expected. One cannot liberally walk around without a bra or pants, or leave the bathroom door open while taking a poop. Adjusting a wedgie that’s riding up your butt will cause you to be weirdly looked upon, or – if you’re a male – putting your hands down your pants to adjust your dick will inevitably result in a look of disgust.

If you’re completely comfortable doing all those things while having a house guest…. good for you. I for one, am not. And so for this past week, I have suppressed such normal tendencies that would be deemed even the slightest bit improper.

So when house-guest went to work last week, and husband was home sick for the day (and I was home because… well, because I’m a lulu…)  after a shower I thought…hmmm… streaking…why not?  I jumped out of the shower, towel dried myself so I wasn’t dripping wet, went into the living room, and ran a few circles around the couch… naked. Meanwhile, husband laid on the couch, a tissue box on the side table, face all tiredly congested and a look of what are you doing? Undoubtedly, the security cameras caught it all on tape. And you know what? It was great.

I’m not saying that every time I have guests over, there will be this constant thought of  walking around naked while we’re conversing about whatever. That would be rude. But… I wouldn’t rule out the fact that it may happen at some point when there’s no one home.

Anyways, I hope everyone has a great rest of your week. It’s starting to get cooler in the desert. This morning I woke up and took the trash out in 65 degree weather, and I was cold. It’s supposed to be 87 today. In a few months, you people who have inevitable bitter cold, grey weather will probably hate me.

Until next time…

 

Entry 46: Being Able to Go Streaking in Your Own House

Entry 45: Living in a Depressing World

When I woke up Monday morning, my heart wrenched as I saw the news about the Las Vegas shooting . A lot of us have – at some point – been to Vegas, walked the same streets (probably a little drunk or with a drink at hand. Shoot, I know I was)  been to the Mandalay Bay, and are now having those of thoughts of holy shit – I could have been there. I could have experienced that. 

Thankfully, we are safe. Me writing this little blurb, and you reading this or other articles, and watching the news with your hand over your heart while hugging your little ones, (or in my case my dogs ). All the while trying to process, What the fuck is wrong with this world. 

The thought comes up every time some sort of tragedy strikes. We become sad and upset and find ourselves wondering why these sort of things happen in life . The sad truth of it all is, it seems as if it has been happening more and more often.  One after the other, after the other,  leaving us with the inability to just focus on one thing. Or even have a breather.

It was earlier this year that there was that attack in Manchester during the Ariana Grande concert, and I remember feeling the same way as I do now. Yet with all the crap happening – the other attacks in London,  Black Lives Matter movements,  Antifa protests, natural disasters, the NFL, and now this – Manchester seems like a long time ago.

I will say that there are a few things that annoy me when these types of events happen

  1. stupid people rationalizing that it’s God’s way of getting rid of certain people, or hoping that it did:  in the case of Harvey, Irma, and the mass shooting – the “Trumptards”. I’m sorry, that’s a horrible thought.
  2. Politicians who immediately see these events as a way of furthering their agenda within hours of the event. I agree gun control is a thing that needs to be addressed, but can you give it at least 48 hours so we can process, and pray, and make sure all the victims and injured people are okay?

It’s depressing that this is the world we live in, and even more depressing to think of our future growing up in a world that is seemingly getting worse. But I think it’s important to remember that while these evils do exists, there is still good in the world. You don’t have to look very hard or very far to find it. It is times like these where good has the opportunity to shine,  where political and religious walls can be brought down to unite one human being to another, and where we as indiviudals can be reminded to fight the evils that do exist by being the best human beings we can be and instilling the same values upon our children to do the same.

That probably sounded cheesy or preachy.. or whatever, but I don’t know… this is kind of a big thing that just happened.  Hopefully I have something light-hearted to talk about next time… like how Husband is sick .. which is not light-hearted, but the fact that I’m suggesting Filipino remedies is. Stinky Asian Filipino oil (Husband – No). Let me put Vicks up your nose (no) . Let me put Vicks on your Feet (no) .

Anyways, until next time…

 

 

 

 

Entry 45: Living in a Depressing World