Entry 81 : Some Things Never Change…other things do.

It’s interesting seeing on social media how people you knew a lifetime ago have turned out. There are people that I knew back in the day who have grown up to do really cool stuff, and others who haven’t. Then there are those people who have ended up exactly how you thought they would based on what you knew about them.

Then again, it’s hard to predict who a person will become based on a snapshot of their life. There are so many things that can occur that can change a person for the better, or the worse.

Still, if you were only a part of a person’s life during a fragment of time, sometimes when reconnecting with that person on social media, your mind immediately pulls memories of them: those barcardi shots you took with them at the club, or that one time they were slutty nurses for Halloween. Or maybe you remember that time in 3rd grade when they sat next to you and would put glue on the palm of their hand, let it dry, and then peel it off like it was lizard skin.

(Confession, the kid who did the glue thing? That was me.)

That person become a scientist? Might be your next thought. Or …that guy is a dad

Sometimes these are thought in wonderment of how things can change. Other times they are thought in judgement, which can be unfair to do as life can be a constant evolution of the self driven experiences and life lessons learned ; who we are today is not the same as who we were yesterday, nor will it be the same as who we will become tomorrow.

And I…. I am not the same person I was when I was peeling dried glue off the palm of my hand….

.. Wait… I kind of did once… with this DIY charcoal mask I saw on youtube (Go to the 2 minute mark for ingredients and you will find the ingredients are Elmer’s glue and charcoal .) Okay… so maybe some things don’t change.

Things I like This Week:

Back To School Supplies:

It’s that time of year where stores are starting to line their shelves with back to school supplies. I’ve been a school/office supply junkie ever since I was a kid. I could probably spend all day looking at pens, notebooks, and highlighters. No lie.

There’s this new highlighter I saw that is erase-able. I was like …say What?!?

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I almost bought it, but made myself resist.

A Quiet Place: saw this movie this weekend and it is good. It’s not scary, it’s more like a movie where you’re like…how are these people going to survive? I would say that I haven’t seen a movie like it since Signs. Definitely recommend.

Anyways, that’s it for now. Hope everyone’s week is awesome 🙂

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Entry 80: Asian Grandma’s Be Like…

One of my lulus shared this Buzzfeed article about ” 19 Grandmas Who Aren’t Even Trying to Be Funny, they just Are”, in which grandmas are documented doing hilarious things like using an ipad as a cutting board.

I feel like my Grandma would never do this kind of stuff my Lulu chatted me.

For the next 5 minutes we proceeded to think of things Asian Grandmas would do, if they were hypothetically documented by a Buzzfeed article:

  • Asian Grandma who silently threatens to disown u.
  • Asian Grandma who keep feeding you even though you say no.
  • Asian Grandma who favors your uncle bc your mom is a girl
  • Asian Grandma who cuts in line because that’s how it was done in Asia…and even though it’s America, everyone of all cultures need to respect her
The list went on and even though some people might not find it as funny as the Buzzfeed list, in a way it was because it was truth.

Granted, it’s unfair to generalize all Asian Grandmas into one category, but even if you don’t have an Asian Grandma who falls into the stereotype, you know someone who does have that 5’0 silence force of a family member who – with one look from across the room – can make you and your friends sit up straight, who can overturn anything that your mother says, and show a rare look of approval that looks similar their disapproving look if not for the slight glint of pride in her eyes.
Asian Grandmas, you don’t want to mess with them because
  • a. you flinch at the thought of the bad chi you might get from being disrespectful
  • b. you might get smacked in the mouth.
  • c. mostly because you love them, so the thought never crosses your mind.

Anyways, things I like this week:

UFC 226 – I think I’ve mentioned this before, but Husband and I are big UFC fans and this past weekend was a big fight that we ordered on PPV. Most exciting was the last fight between Cormier vs. Miocic. I’m not going to get into the details, but basically, little guy knocked the big guy out in Round 1.

FIFA Football – The past couple of weeks I’ve been into soccer, basically scheduling my life around it. This morning, I declined working out with my husband because the Belgium and France match was on.

Home-made Instant Pot Yogurt – I made my first ever instant pot yogurt batch. It was pretty easy, just took 9 hours to make. It’s pretty good, I haven’t eaten it sweetened with honey or maple syrup, but put fruit in a cup and mixed it with smoothies. It definitely is healthier for you. The recipe I used made about 16 servings

Apple Pie. Nothing says 4th of July like Apple Pie. And fireworks, and Beer. I made sure we had apple pie this year.

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Nothing much is going on with me. It’s starting to be monsoon season, which has cooled the desert down a bit, but makes it a bit humid after the rains. Also, I’m cat sitting my neighbors cat this 🙂 His name is Dusty, and he’s a cutie.

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Until next time….

Entry 75 : Adulting… I suppose I should.

It’s been a hot minute since I last wrote a post, and I know a ton of you were probably hanging your head in disappointment when you discovered there was no new entry and clicking the refresh button to see if something new would magically generate, but let me explain. These past couple of weeks I’ve been doing the all-important task of adulting.

Ahhh, I can see you saying, nodding your head in understanding, perhaps having flashbacks of the last time that you had to deal with something that you secretly wanted to run away and blanket burrito from. That was me these past few weeks dealing with pool stains and painting 3 out of the 4 exterior walls of my house. Well, more so with the pool stains. Painting was okay, it just took a long time.

I realize I could’ve avoided the stress of it all by hiring a set of illegal immigrants who would’ve gotten the job down in a tenth of the time. It would’ve been priced a little more than the cost of goods plus whatever half the minimum wage is per hour, but… we didn’t and as a result, I racked my head over what could possibly be wrong with the pool, and during the past week Husband and I painted from dusk til down. At the end of each day, there was paint all over my hands and hair, and I developed a sports bra tan line. It was not cute and I found myself constantly looking at the mirror thinking I need a facial. And a manicure

The feeling at the end of the days

After a walk in the desert, Coco is like I cant even.

A post shared by Winter Amplayo Roberts (@winterris) on

But all is good. We got it done and house is not the freshest house in the block, pool likes it wants to be swam in, Husband and I bonded over a project, and I discovered / rediscovered that I have more grit than I give myself credit for.

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The clean pool!

The life lesson? Do the adult things first, and then treat yourself with the fun stuff. I know I felt really productive, and my facial felt well deserved.

Things I like This Week:

My Fresh Looking House and Clean Pool

Spiked Arnold Palmer – During our painting project days, husband I drank this during our lunch breaks. It’s only has 5 % alcohol so it doesn’t even taste like it’s liquored up.

Old Episodes of RosanneThe reboot of the show happened a few weeks ago and had huge numbers. I haven’t seen the new episodes yet, but I’ve started to watch the old episodes on Amazon Prime… and it’s great. I don’t know how I never watched this as a kid. Some show’s comedy is only relevant to the times, but 30 years later, I find that the jokes that they make is still relevant to today. That’s how you know the writing is good, when it can transcend time.

Things I Don’t Like This Week

Conor McGregor is a DickI’m a big fan of watching UFC, and was a big fan of Conor McGregor, until he attacked a bus that injured some UFC fighters that were supposed to fight last Saturday. I don’t know if I should have expected it ? or… I don’t know.

That’s all for now. Nothing new is happening with me. Husband is away in Spain this week, but it’s supposed to gloomy and rainy the whole time he’s there so I’m not jealous. Other things: I have made some life decisions that I’m going follow through, like getting a fitness certification. I just got to follow through.

Anyways, I hope everyone has a good rest of the week. Until next time….

Entry 74 : When Life Gives You Lemons

…Make a Facial Scrub.

Seriously. I mean, you can make lemonade if you want, but in case you didn’t know, lemons make an excellent DIY face scrub when you want to give your skin a little TLC. Just cut up a wedge, coat it with sugar, and scrub away all that dead skin. Some people might find it a little rough especially if they have sensitive skin, but I like it.

I know, I know….the quote is a metaphor and relates to when life starts raining down shit on you…

Which – for me – brings up the question: why do bad things happen? Why does God let bad things happen? Why do we experience pain? Heartache? And all the bad things in life? What it something we did? Are we being punished? Was is Eve? (Dangit Eve!)  Or is it something completely different?

Okay, that’s a number of questions, all of which I do not know the answer to.

What I do know is that pain, sadness, heartache, death – and everything we consider negative in life is a part of life. I know, I’ve experienced it. Everyone I know has experienced it. Whether you’re rich, poor, a hot model, or an average Joe… shit happens. But then the question becomes – What type of person am I going to be when it does happen? At least that’s what I try to ask myself, after my Why God, Why? moment. Am I going to cry about it ? or face it head-on?

What is also a fact is that along with all the shit that life gives us, there is also smiles and laughter, good times, good friends, and everything positive that you can think of. But sometimes, in order to get there, in order to become a better and wise person, you got to deal with the bad too.

When life gives you lemons… make a facial scrub. Or something along those lines.

Things I like this week:

The Darkest Hour – Movie was a Historical drama about Winston Churchhill and the hard decisions he had to make during WWII as Prime Minister. I find British History fascinating, so of course I like it, but it had me thinking, what if Britain had conceded to Hitler in those early years? Would the outcome of the war ended up differently?

It’s Holy Week – Meaning, only a few more days of Easter. Even though it’s the most sad week in the Catholic year, I love it. It makes me more reflective of how Jesus just went in, knowing he was going to die for us.

Things I don’t like this week:

Sally Hansen Design 3d –  Don’t get this. It looks cool on the picture, but once you apply it on your nail, it doesn’t look as nice. I should’ve read the reviews before buying on the whim.

Pool Owning – So I own a pool, but it sucks trying to get the right chemical balance. It’s great during those days when it’s really hot, especially in the desert, but right now – it is the bane of my existence.

Anyways, I hope everyone has a great week. Until next time…

 

 

 

 

 

Entry 73: Where Are They Now……Ludacris, Ja-Rule, Ashanti

According to the Pima county fair website, there are 33 days left until the Pima county fair. Okay, wait…. 30 days.

Whooo’s excited?!?!

It’s kind of a big deal here, along with the local rodeo. Like if you ask locals what to do for fun in the desert, they’ll name off rodeo week ::check::, hiking ::check::, and the Pima County Fair.

I found myself looking on the website to see what it was all about. I mean, I haven’t been to a fair in years. But apparently its like a carnival with games and rides, and horses, and musical performances by artist like

…. brace yourself…

Ludacris.

and JaRule and Ashanti?!?! Say what?!?

I know! when was the last time you thought of those guys?!? For me, it was high school/college. Their music was the soundtrack of my coming of age, even though now that I really listen to the lyrics I’m like… hmmm…

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Circa 2000. When I listened to Jarule/Ashanti and Luda…all the while wondering, why don’t boys like me!

But yeah.. Luda and Ja-Rule and Ashanti… so if you are ever wondering whatever happened to them? They are out doing stuff like county fairs in the desert

Which brings me to some advise that I have for the younger folk. Just wait until the artists no longer are popular to go to their concerts; before you know it – Justin Bieber and other such artists you like now will be playing in casinos and county fairs. I mean, you’ll be in your 30’s, maybe 40s, but it’ll be half the price.

Random… did you know there are 98 Now! This is What I call Music albums? And they’re advertising the 99th one? Do people really buy these albums? Because I feel like they don’t. Maybe they should stop at 100.

Things that I like this week.

“Money Maker” – Ludacris. Hearing that Luda was coming to the desert made me look up all of his songs. This is definitely my favorite and gives me flashbacks of my early 20’s.

Sally Handson Nail Decals – I bought these from Target the last week. I initially saw them at Ulta, but they were sold out and so when I saw them at Target, they automatically went in my basket with no hesitation. I haven’t tried it yet because I got some housework that might potentially ruin them, but we’ll see how it goes. I’m excited.

“Let it Be” – Bebe Rxha feat Florida Georgia Line – This song has been on repeat for me recently. It’s got Florida Georgia Line, who I love since my newfound love of country music. But it’s a super chill song.

Anywho, that’s all for now. I hope everyone has a good week. Until next time!

Entry 70 : That’s Like… Somebody’s Daughter

Husband and I were at this restaurant bar in the University, people watching the people across the street, when we saw a group of females go into this bar with bikini tops and short as short shorts.

The more we watched, the more we saw college girls scantily clad, along with bros in douche tanks entering the establishment.

What is going on? I thought, while I stuffed french fries in my mouth. I never was a person confident enough to wear bikini tops out in anywhere other than a beach, so this was interesting to me. Is this what kids nowadays wear when they go out?

And then my next thoughts…

…. That’s like… somebody’s daughter. I wonder if her daddy knows ….

I know, I shouldn’t judge. I too had a period of time where I partied and had slutty nights out. My dad would sometimes ask me where I was going and I would name off specific friends that I knew he liked who were (maybe) going to be there.

“Jane”, “Betty”, and “Sally”…You know “Sally” ! She’s lives down the street…

And before he could protest… Gotta go. BYEEEE!

At some point, I got old. I think it started when my friends started having kids, and I started becoming a Godparent and forming affections towards them… I don’t want to see any of them grow up!

But it’s inevitable. Kids grow up, and before you know it… they’re off to college, majoring in Social Justice Warrior, and wearing bikini tops on the daily. But even if they don’t…they’re going to be in a crazy/arguably crazier world than the one that already exists.

I don’t have kids, but I know it’s probably the toughest job to raise a child so they dont end up becoming horrible adults, but instead becoming decent human beings with good morals and values, and individuals who are able to face the crazines and not fall down. Because craziness does and will exist. So props to the parents out there doing the right thing. If the time ever comes for me, I will probably be asking you a plethora of questions… including Why does my child keep drawing boxes with their eyes?!?

Things I like this week

NYX Glow StickI bought this on the whim since Ulta gives you $3.50 off for spending $15, but this has been my glow stick since I bought it. It’s super quick if you want to get your glow, but only have 5 seconds to swipe on your face and blend. Possibly Best Drug Store Brand of glow stick I’ve tried?

Heart Defensor Elf Highlighter So Heart Defensor is one of the beauty gurus I follow on YouTube and she collaborated with Elf Cosmetics with this highlighter. I would say the packaging is really cute, although fingerprints go on quite easily. but the highlighter is …okay? . Maybe if I hadn’t gotten the NYX glow stick, I would like it more…

Costco Beauty Online – Costco.com doesn’t have a lot of beauty products, but I like to check it from time to time to see what they have. Occasionally, they have really good deals on products that I love. One time I bought Mac Strobe cream there for $20 (I think normally it’s $30. They had Laura Mercier’s Translucent Powder another time for half the price it normally retails. Now, they have Tarte Amazonian Clay Palette for like $30ish when normally it’s like $54, and some other good skin care brands like Tatcha, and Clinique. So if you’re a Costco member, I definitely recommend going on Costco.com and checking out their skincare/beauty stuff from time to time to see what they got.

Anyways, that’s all for now. I hope everyone has a great rest of your week!

Until next time…

Entry 64: Of Love and Ash

Forewarning, this entry is a bit religious… because it’s Ash Wednesday and kind of a big deal for Catholics/Christians who see this as the beginning of a month and a half of spiritual prep for Easter.

It’s also Valentines day.

You better believe I got my ashes on this morning…and then later tonight when husband gets home, I’m going to give him a DIY card, sushi, and Jack Daniels fudge, and then we’re going to have a dance party. 😉

Many Catholics have probably already contemplated the coincidence of Ash Wednesday and Valentines falling on the same day. Or maybe they haven’t and I could be the only one. It seems befitting that these two holidays should be one in the same day. True, dwelling on Jesus’ death for a month a half can kind of be depressing, and combined with the infusion of a few more Catholic rules of what you can and cannot eat and do, I can understand why people might gloss over Lent in general and skip to coloring eggs and taking pictures with the Easter bunny.

But to me, Jesus’ death is the ultimate act of love, even more so than that $10-$20 box of chocolates and my DIY card; Lent is just a reminder of that love.

This reminder couldn’t have come at a better time for me. These past few days I’ve been doing a lot of self-contemplation and reflection, looking at myself in the bareness of my vulnerabilities and (if I can be honest) I’ve been kind of lost and wandering aimlessly trying to find out who I am and what I should be doing with my life in order to find some purpose or meaning. Sure, I get that life happens and often changes what plans you had for yourself 10 years ago, but thinking about all this has brought me face to face with the following truth: I have not cared for myself as well as I should.

Maybe you’re surprised that this is the case (which means I’m really good at creating a facade). Or maybe it’s something you could have told me based on the fact that I have really bad posture, but it’s a mental block that I’ve struggled to find a way out of since I was kid and which I’m starting to realize the negatives effects of. It’s the voice that has continually told myself I cant, or that something wasn’t worth trying because I wasn’t worth the chance of failing. It is the thing that has ultimately brought me to this state of limbo.

I know, these are super depressing realizations, and you’re probably like you’re so valuable and have so much potential, you don’t even know. I have had many people tell me this on many occassion, it’s just that when a negative mentality has been so engrained for so long, it becomes the truth you believe, and sometimes the truth you believe makes all the difference, not what people tell you.

But like I said, that’s where the combo of Lent and Valentine’s seemingly has its perfect timing: to break through that stupid mental limbo wall of low self-opinion and remind me that despite whatever thoughts or feelings or sinfulness I might have, I am worth it, because why else would Jesus have died?

Anyways, I hope everyone has a blessed Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s day, and day in general. I’m still trying to figure out what to give up, but my priest did shed some light on the fact that it should be personal and we shouldn’t just go through the motions. In whatever we give up, should wake up hungry, go through the day hungry, and go to bed even more hungry for Jesus.

Until next time….

Entry 55: Shots for Eeerbody!

This morning I was watching some highlights of the National Championship game (I fell asleep after half time) and at the end, the Freshmen QB from Hawaii who was put in during the second half,  was interviewed after his game winning TD.

The interviewer asked him a question about what was going through his mind after finding out he was going to play in the National Championship, and he was like My parents are going to get mad but… and then proceeds to thank God.

You can imagine how that made my little Catholic heart feel: in the midst of arguably being the hero in a championship game, in the most selflessly poised way possible… gives props to Jesus, and then gives props to his teammates.

Knowing me, I would be like..OMG! I won! OMGeeeee!!  Shots for eeerr body!!! aaaaahhh!!!! and probably be jumping up and down uncontrollably, looking for a champagne bottle to pop.

But what a great kid.  He must have some parents to raise a kid that doesn’t want to get them mad while on national tv. Most kids would be like… shit, I’m 18, I do what I want! I say what I want… biotch!

There’s so much stuff going on in the world that raising children in the midst of it seems daunting, but the world needs good parents who raise good kids. It’s a bigger responsibility than anyone thinks of when they think they want kids, that beyond feeding them and wiping their butts, you have a responsibility to society to not create shit human beings.

But that’s why I give kuddos to all the parents out there laying good foundations, teaching their kids morals and values, the difference between right and wrong, the importance of hard work, and all the other little things I may be missing. I can only hope that when the time comes, if we’re so blessed, we’ll be able to do the same to where if someone saw our kid, they’d be like wow, that’s a great a kid. 

Things I like this week

Tarte Shape Tape Concealor: I know I’m late to this Shape Tape craze, but this is quite possibly the best concealer I’ve tried, ever.  Actually, I’m usually like, yea whatever it’s just a concealer that’s supposed to highlight and maybe hide spots… but this one has set the standard of what I need in my life. It easily covered up veins on my wrist with one swatch. Highly recommend for a full coverage concealor

“You Look Good” – Lady Antebellum – Ever since husband got a truck, we’ve been listening to country. At first it was a joke, because listening to country is such the stereotypical thing to do when you get a truck. But then I actually started liking it, and now I listen to country music 75% of the time. It’s a complete 180 from the hiphop/r&b/pop I would saturate my ears with, but a lot of country is actually really good; it gets stuck in your head, and you start humming it,  then you realize – holy shit, is a good song.

Anyways, this is my song when I get ready in the morning or when I work out, running, doing butt exercises, etc etc…  It’s my confidence booster, and you know what they say…  confidence is the key to looking/being a boss.

Glad the Holidays Are Over – I finally took down my Christmas decor the other day.  I love Christmas and everything, but am also glad when things can finally go back to a routine. Only 11 more months til Christmas. lol

The Marvelous Mrs Maisel The first episode started off kind of slow, but I decided to give this another try since it did earn a few awards.  The main character in the show played an escort in House of Cards. For whatever reason, I can’t get that out of my head while I’m watching the show, but it’s good.

Anyways, I hope everyone has an amazing week. It’s 80 in the desert. I know, everyone who doesn’t live in sunny weather probably hates me. Or not. I don’t know. But if you do and if it makes you feel better, my eyes are really dry because of the weather.

Until next time.

Entry 54: Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018

How about them 2017 Goals ?!?

Were you like me and completely forgot about them, or gave up on them after week 2? I don’t even remember the specifics of my 2017 goals. Probably something a long the lines of writing my epic novella, being serious about photography, or finding some other calling that made my creative heart leap with joy.

Obviously, that didn’t happen.

As 2017 has drawn to a close, I reflect over what happened with last year’s goals, One thing is I can honestly say is that I didn’t even really try. Sure, I took a picture here and there, sat at a Starbucks to attempt to write, but I didn’t seriously try – like my life depended on it, because it didn’t.

That’s the thing about goals, if it’s not a dire situation, then you don’t necessarily have to do them. We may want the end result of a goal, but consistently facing the challenges to achieve it is the difficult part. So as I’m thinking about last years goals, and thinking about this years goals – I ask myself do I really want it? Like really want these goals, like I wanted Fenty beauty foundation after finding that my color wasn’t at the Bellevue Square Sephora? I went out of my way to 3 other Sephoras to get the color I needed. I realize now that I could’ve just bought it online and waited.

With my goals this year, I am going to change this whole attitude of well, I don’t really have to do this so… because yea, I don’t have to, but no one makes progress by just thinking about how nice it be to make a goal or being too afraid of taking risks; progress is made by doing and just diving in. That’s the attitude I’m going to take with this year. Wish me luck.

Things I like this week:

American Vandal : If you like crime investigation shows like podcasts like Serial or crime, and also have a sense of humor, you’ll like this show. The show is a spoof that revolves around the investigation of who spraypainted dicks on the teacher’s cars?  Highly recommend.

Bright : This is the new netflix movie with Will Smith. I was hesitant about watching this as there were a lot of negative reviews, but I watched it, and it wasn’t the best movie, but it wasn’t that bad, but maybe it wasn’t that bad because I expected it to be horrible. Like Twighlight.

Green Tea Mochi – I finally made my green tea mochi for New Years. Last time I made this cake I added too much matcha, because I was like.. why not? but it ended up disgusting. This time, I did the correct consistency, and it was legit. I’m sure there’s a million green tea mochi recipes out there, but this one seemed to work. Plus, this blogger has other times of mochi cake recipes, like chocolate, and blueberry, and bacon maple mochi cake…  mmmm….mochi

Anyways, I hope everyone had a fun and safe New or Years. I was skeptical over whether or not I would make it til midnight, but I did it. I actually stayed up til 1 am 🙂 I’m still fun

Until next time…

 

Entry 51: Hello, Seattle.

There’s something about walking on a sidewalk with your rolling luggage, and a lady throwing a bunch of breadcrumbs  in front of you, so that a flock of pigeons fly in the pathway that you plan on walking through ( aghhh… fucking pigeons!) that says – welcome to Seattle.

For a second I thought about going on the street and walking around the birds, but ended up being like…you know what? these are pigeons, and I am a human being and thus on top of nature’s food chain. I am going to walk through this horde of pigeons and if any one of them gets hurt…well… survival of the fittest. Maybe theyre not cut out for this world.

Seattle isnt as cold as I thought it would be. I was afraid that my thin desert adapted blood would go in crisis mode and wouldn’t know what to do, but thus far, I’m surviving. Plus, this colder weather makes it seem a little more like the holidays to me. Everywhere I look, people are coated in their marmot jackets and wrapped in infinity scarves, cupping their coffee like a lifeline. So many marmot jackets.

Yesterday, I rode in a friend’s Tesla. It was a car-ride full of so many questions. Is it okay that I bring my bubble tea in here? Is there wi-fi in this car? Can you google  search stuff? Have you self-parked it before? Is that the speed gauge?  It looks like heart monitor. So the car is going to turn off when you walk away?  I know some people are like yea, whatever- it’s just a Tesla. Be cool, Winter. Be coo.  I probably sounded like an ignorant small-townie… which I am when it comes to that sort of stuff, but having never been in anything so techy, and being tech challenged, I was impressed. It felt like I had so much responsibility just by being in the car, like I shouldn’t adjust my weight to one side lest the windows might roll down.

Anyways, I finally saw my dad yesterday. He had a feeding tube down his nose and at first kind of just looked at me. I asked him a bunch of questions – hows it going dad. (nod) you doing okay (nod). Is that thing up your nose okay (nod) you want to look at pictures (nod) 

It was a cycle of me asking him questions and him nodding and being unexpressive. I don’t know if he was just nodding because that’s all he could do, but I ended up playing him some music, some old Filipino songs that he would karaoke to when I was kid.  As I sat on the floor next to his bed (there was a plug at his bed, and my phone was at 2% and needed charging) his hand began tapping to the music and then tapped my head, then touch my face. It was a touch that lingered for a while.

I had wondered what would be the moment when I would start crying, and for sure thought that it would be when I walked into his room and saw him lying in his hospital bed. But, it was this moment when the music that I didn’t understand the lyrics to was playing and his hand lingered on my face ( like I was the one needing comforting in this situation) that  flooded me with memories of me being a kid again, tearing down whatever wall I was trying to keep up.

I know, so emotional. Aghh. I’m trying no to look sad at the coffee shop that I’m at and trying to remind myself not to make a scene since I’m in public. I kind of made eye contact with a guy with a black eye. I was just staring into space and somehow, fate locked our eyes and I was like.. oh shit, look away. don’t stare.

Things that I like:

The Punisher. Probably the best of netflix marvel series that they have out there. Seriously, Shane (I don’t know his real name so I call him Shane from Walking Dead) does such a good job in that role.

Seattle City Christmas Lights : Like I said, it feels a lot like the holidays here because of the weather, but also – they light the city up with Christmas lights a little more

Urban Decay Ultimate Basics  I have so many eye shadow pallets, but I recently got this, and it’s such a versatile basic pallet. If that makes sense.  Right now, my new go-to.

Fenty Beauty Foundation – I was trying out makeup at Sephora the other day. I’m usually pretty careful when it comes to make-up, especially when celebrities are attached to it.  But omg. This product goes on light, but when sets into your skin has completely full coverage. I even put a darker shade on my had first, then tried a lighter shade and that completely covered the darker shade. The line comes in a wide spectrum of shades.  Highly recommend.

Anyways, that’s all I can think of right now.  Until next time…