Earlier this year, during a 4th of July gathering, my Husband’s ex coworker stopped by. She’s one of those older Asian like figures with no kids that ask annoying questions, and as she watched my Husband play with the baby of a family friend, she said You guys should have kids. When are you going to have kids?
There was a shade of sadness that fell on Husband’s countenance. It was subtle and brief, and if you did not know the history of our past failed attempts, you might not have recognized the change in his demeanor. But, being intuitive to this, I could see it, as well as feel the pang of depressive longing that pulsed at the heart.
Someday, I replied, in classic short-form answer. My fight-or-flight response frantically tried to find a squirrel of a distraction to divert the uncomfortable topic of conversation, and came up with So are you going home to Washington sometime soon?
I had another Aunty (this time my actual Aunt) ask me the same question during a phone conversation. When you make a baby? I answered with another short answer and changed the topic
It’s probably the most annoying question that anyone who’s trying to have a baby (and have been trying for a while) can get, especially coming from these older Asian-like figures. To be clear, I’m never annoyed when it’s a question that comes from friends who know me, just these Aunties who have no kids, barely talk to you on a regular basis, and who are the same Aunties who asked you when you were in your 20’s when you were going to get married, right after you broke up with a boyfriend.
And I’m never quite sure what answer they’re looking for. Do they want a specific date? Do they want a game plan of my life? Sometimes, out of spite, I want to tell them that I want to be just like them when I’m 50, with no kids because they obviously look happy.
But that wouldn’t be true, and I would be saying that to be passively mean, and maybe they don’t know they’re asking a sensitive question. After all, these older Auntie’s have no kids, so it’s questionable whether they know that you can’t just get a baby at a grocery store when you decide to have one like you can get some lemons.
I know, it’ll happen when it’ll happen, and I’ll just have to just trust in that when it does happen, it’ll be because it’s the right time. Until then, maybe I’ll just avoid all the older Aunties.
Things I like :
To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before – This is a good chick flick movie on Netflix. Of course, it makes me think of High School and how my experience was definitely not like how it played out in the movie. Should it have been different? I don’t know.
Jack Ryan – I’ve been anticipating this show on Amazon for 6 months, or however long it’s been since they first advertised it. Also, I love John Krasinski . Husband and I killed this show in 2 days, if you’re into the secret agent CIA stuff fighting terrorism… definitely good
In the show, there’s Jack Ryan is seeing this girl … and throughout the whole show, I’m like… if you only knew how Jack Ryan was protecting our country, you’d be so turned out right now.
Also, funny story, when husband and I first started dating, I asked him if he worked for the CIA? Jokingly, but half serious. He said no, but if he said yes… I would’ve been okay with that.
Crazy Rich Asians This was actually a really good movie. I didn’t know what to expect, I was half afraid it was going to be horrible, but taking it for what it was – a romantic comedy – it was really good. I’m glad some of my friends who had already seen it, saw it again with me while I was in Seattle. Husband has no interest to watch it, but when it comes out on DVD, I’ll happen to get it, and have it in the background.