Entry 35 : Case of the Ex. 2

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about insta-stalking an ex-boyfriend, and how I wished I could look at that time of my life, without feeling animosity.

Well, funny story – I ended up having this dream a few weeks ago that the ex-boyfriend was trying to get back together with me; he was remorseful over all the hurt and suffering he had caused me, and blah blah blah.

In my dream, I felt conflicted; I was getting what I thought I wanted (him groveling back to me), but it wasn’t at all satisfying. Like, I was happy and didn’t want to give up my life with my husband, who in my dream was played by my real husband. lol. Have you ever had those dreams where somebody is supposed to be someone to you… like a spouse, or a best friend, but it’s role played by someone else who is not that person in real life?

Anyways, even though I felt really confused in my dream, I woke up happy. If dreams are supposed to be a pathway into the psyche, what I think my psyche was telling me to get over it. I have to admit a small part of me wished that at some point in life, he would realize that he had fucked up on the best thing he had ever had and would pine away eating ice cream and getting fat, but to be honest – the dream made me realize that none of that even matters anymore. While getting my heart broken was not fun, I should look at it as a blessing, one that opened a pathway to a better me, an awesome life, and a studly spouse.

So there, no more holding grudges for something in the past.

Until next time…

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Entry 35 : Case of the Ex. 2