Entry 64: Of Love and Ash

Forewarning, this entry is a bit religious… because it’s Ash Wednesday and kind of a big deal for Catholics/Christians who see this as the beginning of a month and a half of spiritual prep for Easter.

It’s also Valentines day.

You better believe I got my ashes on this morning…and then later tonight when husband gets home, I’m going to give him a DIY card, sushi, and Jack Daniels fudge, and then we’re going to have a dance party. ūüėČ

Many Catholics have probably already contemplated the coincidence of Ash Wednesday and Valentines falling on the same day. Or maybe they haven’t and I could be the only one. It seems befitting that these two holidays should be one in the same day. True, dwelling on Jesus’ death for a month a half can kind of be depressing, and combined with the infusion of a few more Catholic rules of what you can and cannot eat and do, I can understand why people might gloss over Lent in general and skip to coloring eggs and taking pictures with the Easter bunny.

But to me, Jesus’ death is the ultimate act of love, even more so than that $10-$20 box of chocolates and my DIY card; Lent is just a reminder of that love.

This reminder couldn’t have come at a better time for me. These past few days I’ve been doing a lot of self-contemplation and reflection, looking at myself in the bareness of my vulnerabilities and (if I can be honest) I’ve been kind of lost and wandering aimlessly trying to find out who I am and what I should be doing with my life in order to find some purpose or meaning. Sure, I get that life happens and often changes what plans you had for yourself 10 years ago, but thinking about all this has brought me face to face with the following truth: I have not cared for myself as well as I should.

Maybe you’re surprised that this is the case (which means I’m really good at creating a facade). Or maybe it’s something you could have told me based on the fact that I have really bad posture, but it’s a mental block that I’ve struggled to find a way out of since I was kid and which I’m starting to realize the negatives effects of. It’s the voice that has continually told myself I cant, or that something wasn’t worth trying because I wasn’t worth the chance of failing. It is the thing that has ultimately brought me to this state of limbo.

I know, these are super depressing realizations, and you’re probably like you’re so valuable and have so much potential, you don’t even know. I have had many people tell me this on many occassion, it’s just that when a negative mentality has been so engrained for so long, it becomes the truth you believe, and sometimes the truth you believe makes all the difference, not what people tell you.

But like I said, that’s where the combo of Lent and Valentine’s seemingly has its perfect timing: to break through that stupid mental limbo wall of low self-opinion and remind me that despite whatever thoughts or feelings or sinfulness I might have, I am worth it, because why else would Jesus have died?

Anyways, I hope everyone has a blessed Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s day, and day in general. I’m still trying to figure out what to give up, but my priest did shed some light on the fact that it should be personal and we shouldn’t just go through the motions. In whatever we give up, should wake up hungry, go through the day hungry, and go to bed even more hungry for Jesus.

Until next time….

Entry 64: Of Love and Ash

Entry 58: Stray Dogs Just Love Us

Husband and I have a knack for finding stray dogs. Or …stray dogs just have a knack for finding us. Whichever way it is, we and stray dogs have crossed paths on multiple occasions.

In 2012 we found this pup, whom we dubbed Kona.


The dog ended up being the dog of a friend of a friend’s. Our mutual friend had “liked” my picture on Facebook, which the mutual friend’s friend had seen¬† and was like yo that’s my dog. Dog and owner were reunited. At least that’s how I remember it happening.

A few months later, I found a couple of other dogs  roaming in our Everett neighborhood Luckily they had collars on and I called the owners who whipped on by in their SUV to pick them up.

In 2015,  there was Lucy.


Husband had found her while leaving the gym when he first moved to the desert. I ended up finding a lady through Facebook who sheltered dogs to take her in while husband came back to Seattle to move the family. She didn’t end up staying at the shelter; on the day husband dropped Lucy off, a guy – who was looking to adopt happened to be at lady’s shelter – took Lucy in and ended up adopting her.

And then, a few days ago, there were these two


Driving out of my neighborhood, I saw these two roaming with no human owner in sight. I got out of my car and they went right in. Having no collar, and after finding they also had no chip, I dubbed the male pitt “Bruno” and called the female mix… “hey you”. I couldn’t think a good name for her that spoke to me.¬† ¬†A day after I found them, I decided to post a ‘found dog’ on a every social media forum I could, and after posting on one forum,¬† 10 minutes later, I found the owner of the dogs. Within a half hour later, the dogs were reunited with their owners. It was seriously the most beautiful thing.

But is it me, or do me and husband come across a lot of stray dogs? Maybe the normal everyday person comes across the same amount of strays in their lifetime as we do, and maybe me and husband are such a sucker for puppies that with every stray we see, our hearts are just like let me help you find your home! 

It’s stressful though, trying to figure out what to do in order to help reunite puppy with owner, the most stressful thing is hoping that someone out there is looking for them. Despite this stress, we keep finding them, and we keep taking them in and taking on that responsibility.

This is probably what we get for praying for all the puppies of the world before every meal. No lie. Before most meals, our prayers are like,

Dear God – Thank you for this food and our puppies.. and we pray for the puppies of the world, especially the ones with no homes. Also, we pray for our soldiers. Amen.

It sounds kind of like a prayer a 10 year old would say, but God probably takes it seriously and decides to gravitate lost puppies in our area towards us because of this. Luckily, every single stray we come across has gotten their happy ending.

Things that I like this week:

Horchata Cold BrewIt’s basically a horchata with some cold brew all up in there.¬† And if you have never had a horchata… well, I don’t know what to tell you except, go find a Mexican restaurant that sells it, and try it, and then imagine it with cold brew. It’s that good.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine I realize this show is a few years old, but I just got into it. And I love that there are a few seasons that I can just binge on.

Coconut Milk Vanilla Latte¬†I never noticed this on the Starbucks menu before. Maybe it’s new? But I ordered it a few days ago and it was delish, and (most importantly) not as many calories.

Well, that’s it for now.¬† I hope everyone has a good rest of week!

Until next time…

Entry 58: Stray Dogs Just Love Us

Entry 41: Assuming Everyone Else’s Life is Perfect.

A wise friend told me, don’t compare yourself to others, everyone’s got their own issues. 

Seems pretty self-explanatory, something that I know in the deepest corners of my heart, and yet I sometimes find myself forgetting this and getting caught up in what I don’t have, what I’m not doing, or where I’m at in life compared to everyone else.

Social media doesn’t help . Not that I’m trying to blame it or anything, but I can see the toxicity in consuming one’s time in other people’s statuses and photo posts.  While I love seeing updates and pictures of where people have been and what they’ve eaten, I think I tend to subconsciously forget that people generally only post the good stuff that happens and not necessarily the struggles that life brings them. Which I get, I don’t like to advertise the bad shit on the interwebs either, but it doesn’t mean I don’t go through them myself.

What ends up being presented is a partial truth to the reality of life. 

It’s like when I read trashy romance novels that tell stories of  whirlwind romances and sexcapades that leave me with the feeling of – Why doesn’t my husband ravish me like that?!? Or Save me from towers?!?  (Well, because you don’t have a tower,  you do not live in 17th century England, you don’t even like getting your hair pulled, and most of the stuff that goes on in trashy books doesn’t happen in real life. )

So if you’ve ever thought my life is awesome based on all my selfies and social media posts – it is. But surprise. It isn’t perfect. But I need to work on not dwelling on how my life is or isn’t compared to everyone else, but counting the perfect and imperfect blessings that exist.  And if there’s something that’s lacking in my life that bugs me, to ultimately do something about it, instead of dwell. Which is hard, because I’m a chronic dweller.


Anyways, I hope everyone has a great week! Nothing exciting is happening to me this week. Does going to Costco count? I don’t know. But … until next time ūüôā

Entry 41: Assuming Everyone Else’s Life is Perfect.

Entry 34: Prepping for Desert Heat

I’ve been in the desert for about a year, and have been getting compliments on the tan that I’ve acquired.

What can I say? In being graced by sun majority of the year, my Filipino was bound to come out. I don’t know for sure if that’s why I don’t ever burn and just tan nicely, but it’s the only logical reason I can think of.

Not to say that I have never gotten sunburned ever

There was one time I burned really bad: Husband and I had gone to Hawaii and I got super dark because he gave me tanning oil, instead of sun-protection. I fell asleep under the sun and woke up 3 hours later so burnt, it hurt to shower for weeks. Even the locals’ eyes filled with pity as they saw me teetering around the shops in my burnt skin. That’s when you know it’s bad, when the locals feel bad for you.

I learned my lesson (tanning oil is not a replacement for SPF),¬†and since then have not gotten sunburned, but I’m still not excited for the inevitable surge of heat during the coming months. As I’m writing this, my memory is getting flashbacks to last summer, when it got over 100 degrees and just walking a quarter of a mile became the longest walk ever.

It’s the kind of heat that makes it suck to even breathe, where even wearing nothing doesn’t help. Where the only thing that helps is sitting in an air-conditioned place and doing nothing but eating something cold, like icecream, or popsicles, or frozen grapes, with the tv on and the remote within reach.

If only every day I had an excuse for doing just that.

Until next time….


Entry 34: Prepping for Desert Heat

Entry 32: Case of the EX

I’m instagram buddies with an ex-boyfriend who had broken my heart when I was 22. I suppose it’s to prove that I have no ill-will towards him, but whenever I see a picture he had taken posted on my feed, I still feel a hint of the pasts’ bitterness gurgling at the pit of my stomach.

What a fuckin idiot. 

Our breakup (while putting me through 9 months of post-breakup ugly crying and questioning my own self-worth) actually led me to a more blessed life, but as much as I try Рthat bitterness still lingers.

The thing is, I don’t want it to be there. I want to be able to think of that time of my life – the love, the heartache, the depression – and be okay with it, to acknowledge it without negativity, because life did¬†turn out great despite not knowing how I would be able to go on.

Taylor Swift is known for writing songs about past relationships. It’s probably very therapeutic for her, but it makes me think that the reason for my animosity is because it’s all pent up… in the crevice of my heart somewhere. I guess I should try letting it out more?

Anyways, until next time….


Entry 32: Case of the EX

Entry 27: Getting a Job

Earlier today, a recruiter called saying he had an opportunity that he thought would be good for me

When’s the earliest you can start?¬†

The question made me anxious, mainly because making snap decisions is against my nature. I like to brew on things, look at things from all angles and possibilities before making a decision. While in some instances this can be good, ¬†it tends to over complicate things that don’t necessarily need to be over complicated. Like, do I want chocolate or vanilla ? I don’t know. It depends, is there a possibility that the chocolate could potentially get on what I am wearing? or get on my face? There’s so many factors!

So when posed with the question of when I could start, in my head I was like,ahhh I don’t know! I have to think about this. This is a lot right now!¬†

Instead, I heard myself say “Monday.”

After I hung up, I felt a little uneasy about it. I didn’t feel uneasy about the idea of getting a job, per se, but the fact that the idea didn’t really get a chance to settle within me. ¬†There’s so much to brew on when going through life-changing things. Like the fact that I’ll have to do my workouts after work, and that I have to be more efficient with everything I do because I won’t have the opportunity to take my time doing things or take a nap.

It’s funny though, how whenever I’m working, I don’t want to work, and when I don’t work, the idea of working seems all the more appealing. If only there was a job where I could just get paid for doing something that would allow me to take naps whenever I wanted.

Anyways, I’m probably over-complicating it all. Everyone has to deal with juggling life, and while I have been fortunate to have not had to work these past few months, it’s something that I’ll have to figure out. On the plus side, maybe now I can go ahead and just get my instant pot that I’ve been wanting for months now.

Until next time….

Entry 27: Getting a Job

Entry 18: Anniversaries

May is my anniversary month, a time where it has become a traditional joke to remind people of when A passed out at his own wedding.

If you were there you probably remember the words “omgosh” coming out of your mouth, and if you weren’t there, you’ve had to settle for third person accounts of the day.

Now, I’m not one who generally provides the world with daily status updates of my undying love for my husband; it’s there, but frankly, I find excessive internet affection annoying. And by excessive I mean like every 30 seconds :: status update:: my significant other is amazing. Then 30 seconds later ::status update:: my significant other is more amazing than they were 30 seconds ago.

These are the same people who take a million pictures of the cheesecake they had for dinner at a million different angles, a¬†thing that could essentially be summarized in 1 picture that yes, there was a cheesecake…and yes, it was amazing.

But I digress.

I do like sharing what goes on in my head during really big occurrences in my life (because my brain is funnily all over the place) …like the first time I met A.

Now, I get that every love story begins with the same¬†Oh, my heart was beating so fast and there were butterflies everywhere! different color butterflies just fluttering…. ¬†I’m pretty sure they were flying in my face while we googly eyed all night….¬†

But let me premise this by saying that at the time of our first date, ¬†I had been saturating my reads with trashy historical romance novels. You know, the kind with the Gaelic Laird who finds an English damsel in distress who, upon seeing the mighty warrior with powerful thighs and ¬†his devilishly handsome grin, starts having these feelings that go against everything she had learned from her pure virtuous¬†upbringing with the nuns. Though she tries to resist these thoughts, she finds herself blushing at the very thought of what it would be like… to just …straddle him.

You might laugh, but these books do exist; I know because I have read ¬†a lot of them and I still read them from time to time. While some people find guilty pleasure in keeping up with the Kardashians, Britney Spears,¬†or watching YouTube videos on “how to twerk”,¬†my guilty pleasure is trashy historical romance novels that often leave me wishing I had that experience of being saved from a locked tower of some sort.

But what does this have to do with the first time I met A?

In being so saturated in these books, the first time I opened the front door and saw A, with his 6ft plus self and muscles just …everywhere, he was literally the biggest person I had ever stood next to, mainly because I hung around Asians 99 % of the time. It sequentially made me think about all the Gaelic Lairds I had ever read about, which then made me come to the realization that this … this being in front of me is what ¬†all the fictional damsels were probably looking at when they were getting all hot and bothered.

I am pretty sure my first words were something along the lines of “hey”, ¬†but my thoughts could only revolve around one word:


.. and that my friends, was my first impression. It’s been 8 years since that epic event in my life, and after 6 years of marriage, ¬†reminiscing about the first¬†whoa¬†always puts a smile on my face.

Entry 18: Anniversaries