Entry 32: Case of the EX

I’m instagram buddies with an ex-boyfriend who had broken my heart when I was 22. I suppose it’s to prove that I have no ill-will towards him, but whenever I see a picture he had taken posted on my feed, I still feel a hint of the pasts’ bitterness gurgling at the pit of my stomach.

What a fuckin idiot. 

Our breakup (while putting me through 9 months of post-breakup ugly crying and questioning my own self-worth) actually led me to a more blessed life, but as much as I try – that bitterness still lingers.

The thing is, I don’t want it to be there. I want to be able to think of that time of my life – the love, the heartache, the depression – and be okay with it, to acknowledge it without negativity, because life did turn out great despite not knowing how I would be able to go on.

Taylor Swift is known for writing songs about past relationships. It’s probably very therapeutic for her, but it makes me think that the reason for my animosity is because it’s all pent up… in the crevice of my heart somewhere. I guess I should try letting it out more?

Anyways, until next time….

 

Entry 32: Case of the EX